So, I’ve decided that I need somewhere to write things down, share my experiences (both good and bad) I doubt that anyone will read this but that’s fine, this is about me.
I’m a big girl, always have been and always will be. It’s taken me a long time to accept this, you name a diet and I’ve probably done it, Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Lighter Life. I’ve lost a few stone and then gained it all back and more. In the process I’ve made myself utterly miserable and felt like a failure for not sticking at it.
Then, a couple of years ago, I discovered the BBW scene on Twitter, and it was a revelation! There were so many beautiful plus size women all being so positive and making me realise that yes, I’m fat but that’s just one thing about me, just like having brown hair or blue eyes. It doesn’t make me a bad person and I still deserve to enjoy the same things as everyone else.
I know that it sounds ridiculous that it took me well into my 30’s to figure it out but society pressures us into thinking that big is bad, and that if only we can lose weight our lives will change completely and we will suddenly be happy. But it doesn’t work like that, if I lost weight then yes, it MIGHT stop me developing joint problems, it MIGHT stop me getting type 2 diabetes. The list of ifs and buts is endless, but there are no certainties, even slimmer I could end up with health problems.
What I do know is that losing weight is not going to make me rich and successful, it’s not going to help me find the love of my life and it’s not going to stop people judging me one way or another.
So I made a decision, to do what makes me happy, that might be going out dancing until the early hours, or just enjoying a takeaway in front of the TV. But I will not live my life worrying about what other people think of me, life is too short and I have already wasted so much time.