Just the ramblings of a plus size woman

Sticks and stones… — September 27, 2015

Sticks and stones…

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” if only this were true! I think every nasty comment I have ever received has lodged somewhere deep inside me. It’s funny how when I get a compliment I assume that it’s just someone trying to be nice but as soon as someone says something nasty I believe it completely, isn’t it fun how our minds work! 

Internet trolls are everywhere unfortunately, they’re the equivalent of a high school bully who will taunt anyone who doesn’t fit their ideals. I know that the smart thing to do is to ignore them and they’ll eventually move on to someone else but unfortunately this doesn’t stop their words chipping away at my self esteem. This week I have come under attack from trolls again, basically all picking on the one thing that’s easiest, my weight. Last weekend I was down in London for Club Indulge, a body positive night which I love going to, I wore a little black dress which I probably wouldn’t have worn a year ago as it was very figure hugging, but thanks to nights like these my body confidence has been growing. Feeling happy with the way I looked I posted a picture on Twitter;

Now I get that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I was brought up with the adage ” If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all ” unfortunately other people obviously weren’t taught the same. I was met with comments like; 

Oh look at the little piglet legs”

“Your knees must really hurt”

“So, in your case, what does the second B in BBW stand for?”

“I just threw up a bit”

I’ll admit I cried, I didn’t respond to any of them as I understand that these sort of people thrive on the attention and arguing with them is just feeding the fire. I blocked the offenders and tried to move on, unfortunately my brain refused to do the same and those little comments have been going around in my head ever since. I mentioned the experience on Twitter and got a lot of very supportive comments along the lines of “don’t listen to them, you’re better than that” but one response that really got to me was this one

Now there are a few things about this comment that angered me, firstly “with the greatest of respect” automatically I know that this is going to be a thinly veiled criticism, and why should I expect to get nasty bullying comments purely because I put a picture of myself on the Internet?! This is the world we live in, people post pictures of things which are far more offensive than me in a dress! Should I also expect to be called names in the street just because I’m fat (this has happened a few times) I suppose that means I’m asking for trouble and should just never leave the house. To me this is the same school of thought as saying that someone was responsible for being cat called (or worse) because they were dressed provocatively, it all boils down to the same thing and I refuse to take responsibility for someone else’s actions.

Bullies are everywhere, I’m sure we’ve all come across then in one form or another throughout our lives, the Internet has become a perfect breeding ground for them where they can hide behind their keyboards and say things which they wouldn’t dream of saying to someones face (I hope). Does this mean that we should accept it? I don’t think so. So yes their words hurt me but I won’t let them stop me, I won’t let them win.